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My First Sourdough Experience

Hello, dear readers. I know it has been a while, but I wanted to provide you with an update. Something that took me pretty much the entire month of July. I’ve been meaning to try this for a while, but I made sourdough bread. From scratch. Including the starter. It was slow, messy, and definitely tested your patience. It requires a lot of waiting. Making the starter was a whole process in itself. It felt like taking care of a pet— feeding it every day, watching it bubble and grow, hoping it didn’t die or mold on me. (I may have stared at it too much) But eventually, it came alive (20 days later), and that in itself felt like a small win. The actual baking part? A little chaotic. The dough was stickier than I expected, the folding part was trickier than I thought, and trying to get the Dutch oven to fit into my oven was a challenge in itself. But somehow… it worked. The loaf came out imperfect, weighed a ton, and felt like a rock. But once it cooled off, it softened a bit. Although it od...
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Finished: The Institute by Stephen King

Hello, dear readers. Last night, I stayed up way too late to finish "The Institute" by Stephen King. I love his work. I can never put his books down. He has a way of creating characters you care about, even when the world they are stuck in is terrifying.  I went into this book knowing the basics: a secret facility where kids with special talents (telekinesis, telepathy) are taken and experimented on. I expected it to be creepy, but I did not expect it to feel so sad and infuriating.  The kids in the story —Luke, Kalisha, and Avery —all of them —felt real. They were brave, vulnerable, and funny in the exact ways real kids are. That made the horrors of the Institute feel even worse. It is one thing to read about monsters with fangs and claws. It is another when the monsters look like ordinary adults in lab coats, justifying unthinkable things. There is also something about the idea of children carrying the burden of saving themselves because the grown-ups have failed them. ...
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Why I Do Not Love Fireworks

Hello dear readers, and Happy 4th of July. In the spirit of the 4th of July, I need to say that I have never really liked fireworks. I know they are supposed to be magical-the big booming bursts of color, the crowds gathered in blankets and lawn chairs, the oohs and aahs echoing under the night sky. But if I am being honest, they have always made me feel uneasy. Part of it is just who I am. Loud, crowded, chaotic things do not exactly fill my cup. But the biggest reason is my dog. Every time fireworks go off, my dog goes into full panic mode. He paces. He hides under furniture and becomes very clingy, pants, and shakes. There is nothing I can say or do that makes him relaxed. It is heartbreaking to watch him so scared of something I cannot control. He does not understand that it is just “fun” or “festive”. To him, it is thunder that never ends, explosions he cannot escape. And honestly, I get it. Loud, unpredictable noises that feel like they are right on top of you? I would want to hi...
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Swiping, No Talk, and Sighs

Hello, dear readers. Online dating feels like an experiment I keep running even though I already know the results. I downloaded Bumble a few days ago, after telling myself I had sworn off dating apps for good. But here I am again, trying to convince myself it is worth the effort. And honestly? It mostly just feels like a waste of time. Swipe, swipe, swipe. Maybe a match. And the ones who do match, you try to start a conversation, and they either never reply or unmatch you. Sometimes I wonder if it's me - maybe I'm not cut out for this digital world of forced charm and half-baked connections. I am an introvert at my core. I crave honest conversations with depth. I'm unsure how to effectively market myself in three to six photos and catchy lines about what I enjoy doing for fun. It's not that I hate the idea of meeting someone—I want that. I want the late-night talks, the random ”thinking of you texts”, the quiet understanding that grows over time. I just hate this proces...
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See You at Christmas

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Hello, dear readers. Today, both my brothers are heading across the country to good ole San Diego. One of my brothers has been in San Diego for almost a year now. However, my other brother will be leaving home for college for the first time. It feels strange to write this, even though we've all been talking about this day for months, discussing packing lists, living essentials, and what clothes to bring. Part of me is so excited for him. He is ready for this. He has been craving independence in a way that feels familiar-the same I do when I think about getting my own apartment in a few months, wanting my own space and my own schedule. He has worked hard to get here. He deserves every good thing that is waiting for him on the other side of this move.  But I would be lying if I said it did not sting a little, too. We are not the kind of siblings who text every day or spill our deepest darkest secrets, but he is still my brother. The one with whom I would argue over stupid things. The...
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A Tiny Bit More Than Yesterday

Hello, dear readers. I missed posting yesterday. I was in one of those moods where you just cannot quite get yourself to do anything, not because you are too busy, but because you simply do not have the motivation. So I let myself have the day. I curled up on the couch and watched Pulse on Netflix, and did not move much beyond that. Today, I did a tiny bit more. I went to the store, which felt like an accomplishment, honestly. And I unfortunately went ahead and created that Bumble account I was hesitant about. I looked at a few profiles, but no one really stood out to me. Except for one guy, with whom I responded but have yet to receive a message back. Typical dating app fashion.  Additionally, I am a bit concerned about my kidneys. I have had this weird on-and-off pain that is making me paranoid about a possible kidney stone. I am probably spiraling for no reason (hello anxiety), but I have also had four kidney stones in the past. So as soon as I get back pain, my mind immediately...
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Boring Days Still Count

Hello, dear readers.  Today was not an exciting day by any means. And honestly, that felt nice. We finally made it out of the heat wave that turned NYC into a toaster oven. The air felt lighter, cooler, and more breathable today. I took full advantage and stayed in bed until 10 am, watching reruns of The Closer . I think Kyra Sedgwick is a fantastic main character. Since staying in bed until 10 made me feel like a lazy lump, I needed to move my body. So I did a thirty-minute cardio aerobics workout right in my living room. It was much needed. Movement is magic. Even when it's awkward and sweaty, and one of those things you just might not want to do, you always feel better afterward. Later, I put on my “work brain” for a few hours. For my summer job, we have to create a skill progression for a 3rd to 8th grade STEM program where I work. Today, I spent some time researching different STEM programs to see what other schools are doing and the skills they are exposing their students to....
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